If Only I Had the Courage
He loved her in silence, fearing rejection more than regret.She waited, hoping, never knowing.Now, she's gone—and so is the chance that once was.
I remember the first time I dreamed about Her. Her name is Susie (a pseudonym). Her smile was so beautiful, and her sparkling eyes made people—especially men—feel incredibly special whenever she looked at them.
Beyond her physical beauty, she possessed inner beauty as well. She was always caring and thoughtful toward others, and she was a great listener. If you ever needed someone to talk to, she was the perfect person. Her sense of humor was amazing, and she always had kind words to say every day. She wasn't just admired—she was deeply respected by everyone, both men and women.
Needless to say, she was every guy's dream—including mine. I would always walk her to class between lessons. I would eat with her at the cafeteria, and those moments made me so happy. There were times I wanted to confess my feelings for her, but I never did—because I was afraid of being rejected.
I thought to myself, "If I had a girlfriend like her, I would never look at another girl. But I guess there's someone out there who's more worthy of her." So when graduation day came, that was the last time I ever had the chance to be with her.
Years later, I ran into one of her close friends at a shopping mall, and we had a meal together. With hesitation, I asked her about Susie. But what she said next completely shocked me.
"You're such a BASTARD. You were so close to her. You were always with her. At school, you walked with her, and that made her fall for you. Do you remember those times you had lunch together at the cafeteria? Do you? Everything you did made her constantly check her phone. Every time it rang, she hoped it was you—calling or asking her out. But what did you do? Nothing. You just left her hanging!"
It was through her friend's words that I realized how afraid I had been of rejection. I was such a coward. If I had just confessed my feelings and she said no, then that would've been the end of it. Nothing terrible would have happened—I could've just moved on. But I was too scared to even try. I never had the courage to tell her how I truly felt.
And now what?
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BE WITH HER.